Thursday, February 9, 2012

The Bits And Pieces



Some things are better left in bits and pieces. Like this outfit for instance. I take a lot of Instagram's of my "OOTD" but never post them on the blog. Sometimes they are a precursor to an upcoming blog post, sometimes not. I wasn't loving the actual outfit photos I took today, and ironically, sometimes the photos; whether good or bad help me edit my outfit. After reviewing the ones I took today, I knew I needed to uncuff my jeans one more time and untuck my white button up. While I felt comfortable, my jeans are way too low rise for a tucked in shirt which was evident in the photos.
Since I hated the shots I took today, I decided to share with you guys the "bits and pieces" instead. Interestingly enough, I read something this morning that really got my wheel's spinning on whether it's better to share "bits and pieces" or to "lay it all out there" when it comes to social media and blogging. 
It started when I logged onto Facebook this morning and read a post from a "friend" I haven't seen in over 15 years bashing the father of her two oldest children. She was requesting that anyone who is "friends" with both of them on FB "unfriend" her immediately since she cannot possibly consider someone her "friend" if they can be his "friend" too due to some private dastardly deeds. Which were all aired out in the post, I might add. None of these issues are the business of anyone on Facebook and I was shocked that someone would demand for people to take sides. I am indeed "friends" with both of them on that site and while I silently hoped her allegations against him weren't true, I was more inclined to "unfriend" her because I was so offended by her post. Their private matters as a separated couple with children are no one's business but their own.
My mind immediately started reeling to thoughts of some of the blogs I read regularly and how a handful of these bloggers have just announced they are getting divorced. Some gave only "bits and pieces" while others aired all the news fit to print. I find myself most empathetic towards the blogs where I only read the "bits" and found myself feeling ambivalent towards the ones who "aired it all". Maybe it's her fault...maybe it's his...hmmmm.  Since I don't know these people in real life, I had to snap myself back to reality after reading, acknowledging that no one can develop an opinion hearing one side, silently wishing them peace in their situations and then moving on because none of it is truly my business anyway.
Sometimes I feel like I "overshare", but in reality I'm not sure that I do. I could never imagine telling anyone other than my nearest and dearest exactly what company I am going to be working for and what exactly my job title and description is. I could entertain you all with stories about people who have worked for me, but I never would. I have been so mad at times that I have thought about writing a post that vents all my frustrations but tomorrow morning when I have cooled down, my anger will still be floating in cyberspace for all the world to see. Sometimes before I hit the "send" button I will actually ask myself "What will my kids think if they read this?"
I don't live my life concerned about what other people think. I used to have pink dreadlocks and a nose ring for Pete's sake! And while I will be the first one to applaud people who aren't afraid to voice an opinion, I personally believe that there are some things better kept secret. And goodness knows I have my share of them! 
That all being said, the blogs I love best are those of you who I have gotten to "know". I may not be able to recite your husband's or your children's name (because you never told us), and I may not know what your day to day life really is like, but I have received enough of the "bits and pieces" to keep me coming back for more.

How do you feel about sharing on blogs? Are "bits and pieces" better, or do appreciate the whole "scoop"?

p.s. I really wanted this post to be called "Plaid With A Side Of Penny Loafer" but when I was done it only made sense to change it! ;)

27 comments:

  1. Great post, I actually have a similar post swirling around my head.
    I'm honest on my blog, but I don't reveal everything. I try not to jeopardise my husband and kids privacy. There is PLENTY that goes on in my life that doesn't make it on the blog.
    I post about the day-to-day but more often it's about my feelings, reactions and how I'm processing things that are happening. I don't feel like I can represent the feelings of those around me and I don't try.
    Being honest has been a really freeing experience. I held in a lot of my emotions for so long, so the blog has allowed me to be a lot more honest (and happier) in my 'real' life, which has surprised me.

    I don't think I've really answered your question, but I do prefer "bits and pieces".

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    1. I am with you on so many levels! Being able to talk about your feelings can be so pure that even when you are down you don't come across like a negative Nelly. At least you never do. It's pure and honest without bringing your readers in "too deep". That stuff you can save for our emails! ;)
      xoxo

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  2. I'm prefer bits and pieces, too. While I know no one's life is perfection, I love blogging when it's drama free! That's one reason I am NOT active on FB! Some people just unload more information that I feel is appropriate for public consumption and it makes me very uncomfortable.

    Isn't it strange though that several bloggers have announced divorces/separations at the same time? Sad.

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    1. There are days when I simply want to delete myself from FB but don't because it has given me a chance to revive certain friendships that time and distance may have interrupted. I have trained myself to scroll past all the political mumbo jumbo, whiny statuses etc. Just every now and again one will get me...like today!

      I am sad for anyone who has to deal with divorce. Having once been there myself, it is sad for all parties involved and I wish everyone going through it peace and hope for their future.

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  3. love your loafers.. I need some like these ASAP!
    xo,
    LMQ

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  4. I try to be honest as I can about my life. There's more to "ME" than just this blog and you only see a glimpse of my life. Still, I share what I want to share or if I feel like venting but I would never go to the extreme of bashing people online.

    Love the glasses and loafers.

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    1. Bashing people online is almost another form of bullying, no? People should handle things like adults and not abuse social media!
      Thank you ~ I love those Wayfarers and loafers and hardly wear them enough!

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  5. I love this post Eleanor!!! Very insightful and well written :)

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  6. love your loafers!

    http://forallthatjas.blogspot.com/

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! I have a similar pair for sale in my shop!

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  7. hi eleanor,

    don't get me started on fb. ugh.

    i try to share the good parts of my life on my blog, who wants to read about all the bad, ugly or sad parts. i don't. i try and avoid drama in all areas of my life. i don't get any pleasure in other peoples misery. i try and read uplifting blogs (such as yours) or ones that have a theme. whether fashion, food or decor. it's a lot of fluff but that's why i like it. there is enough awfulness in the real world. so i think my blog is a good reflection of my real life but with the bad parts edited out. that's as real as i can get.:)

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    1. I didn't succumb to FB until last August and I must admit it's alot of fun to reconnect with some old friends I might never have found otherwise. In fact, my daughter just had a playdate with an old friend's daughter who is the same age and they share the same name and tons in common. On the other hand, there are days I almost delete my account because I cannot stomach the political mumbo jumbo and incidents like the one in the post.
      I love the fluff too! Sometimes the bad things are definitely worth a mention, an illness or issue that can bring CONSTRUCTIVE support and even advice. But the deep, dark stuff is better kept IRL!

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  8. It is a fine line, I think. For a personal family blog like mine, I try to be honest about life and how I am feeling. I can't stand when people write about their lives as if they are perfect and nothing is ever wrong.

    I also can't stand when people just complain all of the time either.

    I try to be honest and truthful, while maintaining some dignity. I also think of my kids before I hit send. Even the posts that I am frustrated at parenting or a phase my son is in...I feel like I would tell him about it someday to share honestly what it is like being a parent.

    But again- it is a fine line. I agree that some people don't even come close to establishing a line. Then it becomes a problem.

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    1. Parenting is frustrating and I think it can be healthy to vent some of those frustrations. I would imagine for some people, the internet connections they have made are some of the most "real" friends they may have.
      There are a lot of cruddy people out there and if the audience is the right one, then why not?

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  9. Great post.

    http://paquetevistasbien.blogspot.com

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  10. Bits and pieces definitely! I am not a facebook user, and this situation with your friends is a real shame, the poor kids involved.
    I share the good stuff on my blog, it is my happy place. No need to air grievances, though I do like to discuss coping strategies for anxiety and worry at times, after all we've all got our share. I've learned to ask myself: is this fun or helpful?
    Great post Eleanor!

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    1. The coping strategies are indeed helpful! I come from a long line of people who suffer from anxiety and worry and it is always a constant battle.
      Honesty is always appreciated, but when it is fully negative,biased or rude that it is unnecessary.
      I too feel so sad for the children involved in the situation. Too often they are used as pawns in some silly adult game!

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  11. Such a good post. And what is the etiquette of all this social media? There are many people who weren't getting it right in the manners department before the internet came along, now it is "open mike" for the entire world!

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    1. I love that "open mike" comment! So very true!
      I think it is hard to really know where people are coming from because 99.9% of people on social media don't know who you are in your real life. It leaves so very much to misinterpretation!

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  12. PS--love the jacket and loafers!!!

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  13. I am wearing my Bass penny loafers right now...interesting post. I think a blog mean different things to everyone and for some it is definitely more personal. I'm not comfortable with that for me...but that's just my opinion. My blog is titled "Lovely Things." So I have a test when I finish a post...I ask the question, "Is is lovely?" If it's not...I change it or scrap it all together and start fresh.

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    1. I love your "self test"...it will always keep you true to your intentions.
      There are plenty of very personal blogs out there with plenty of followers who are looking for that sort of content. I guess what takes me by surprise is when the information overload comes out of the blue!

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  14. So cutes sunglases dear!!! And gorgeus blog too!!!

    If you like my blog and you feel like drinking a sip of ABSOstyle with me, we could followed each other by GFC + Bloglovin’ + Facebook … ;) I’ll be waiting for you!!!

    KISSES!
    Estefanía J. ABSOstyle

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