Monday, February 6, 2012

It's Time


Sorry for the radio silence but the past week has had my mind so engrossed in thought and reflection that I couldn't muster up the drive and desire to write here. If you follow me on Twitter and Instagram you have probably suspected something was up from some of the pictures and messages I have sent and I am now able to share it with you all.
The first week in January I was taken surprise by a phone call from a former employer of mine. They had heard I was no longer working and were creating a position that if approved, brought me to mind. If it was to materialize they wanted to know if it would be something I could consider. Not one to shy away from opportunity when it comes knocking, I said of course I would be interested.
After the phone call, I was an emotional wreck. It was the last thing I had ever expected to have happen. I have not spent a single day seeking a job since I have been home. To be totally honest with you, the most perplexing thought to me is of having an opportunity in front of me that would force me to make a decision between my love of being home and going back to work. I shared these thoughts and fears with my mother who simply suggested I pray that the position would never materialize and no choices would need to be made if it was simply not meant to be. And so I did.
Weeks went by and I never heard a thing. It was a huge relief, although the nagging thought still lurked in the back of my mind. What if??? As fate would have it, my husband found me one evening with the phone plastered to his ear listening to voice mail....they called. It was happening in front of my eyes.
Taking deep breaths and a moment to gather my thoughts, my husband and I agreed that I should seek out all the information I could get and in essence, ride it to the end of the line until a decision needed to be made. Telling myself every day, "you have nothing to lose" "you're in control of your own destiny now" were becoming my daily mantras. But I still suffered an internal nagging and dismay. No amount of self convincing and empowerment can change my sadness at the thought of no longer being simply a "housewife" or "SAHM".
Don't get me wrong, it has been a struggle as much as a pleasure. I never imagined there would an "adjustment". I have been a mom for almost half of my life already....what could there possibly be to adjust to? As many of you have already surmised from being on this journey with me...it indeed HAS been an adjustment. Adjusting to not having a rigid daily schedule once everyone is off to school and work, feeling helpless that my contribution to the household monetarily is no longer powerful, struggling with anxiety that while all of our bills are paid in full and on time, if a car was to break down and the furnace blow up my selfish decision to quit a job I despised could cause us some financial stress was at times overwhelming. I was used to providing. But in a way much different than just being cook and housekeeper.
I also never expected to change internally so drastically. Oh, but you all noticed...taking me by surprise and warming my heart time and time again with your comments and emails. Every priority I had has changed.
I have changed.
And I like the new me.
So how could I give it all up?
Simply because my family has told me too. Each of my children, has come to me on their own and in their own words told me they want me to take it. My husband as well. And so this morning, I picked up the phone and made the call that will once again shift our destiny and future. I accepted it.
Three weeks from today I start. It's exciting and a bit nerve wracking all at once. 
And just when I had really settled in to my new lifestyle...

p.s. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere from here...this blog was being written for two full years while I juggled my life as a working mom. In fact, the shop is staying open too. I'm putting some of the winter merchandise on sale this week to make way for spring and early summer merchandise. 

31 comments:

  1. Congrats on your new position! Yet another example of why you never burn a bridge at a former employer.

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    1. EXACTLY! Too bad not everyone views it that way!

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  2. What a difficult decision you had to make. I am happy to hear you were able to at last. I am sure you won't regret it! Congratulations on your new job!!

    Happy new week!

    Madelief

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    1. Thank you so much! It has been tough and tearful but everything happens for a reason and all the signs I needed to make my decision have been placed before me. Enjoy your week!!

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  3. Congratulations Eleanor! I am sure you have thought long and hard about your decision!! Great that you have the support of all the family:)
    ~Anne

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    1. Thank you! The blessing of BOTH the kids didn't happen right away...but yes, they both sincerely agree that it is a good move for us!

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  4. well isn't that just how life is?! as soon as we get settled something happens to drive us crazy! i'm so glad you are going to give it a go. you always have your job at home waiting for you if you want it! xo janet

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    1. Exactly! That is exactly how I am looking at it. I have absolutely nothing to lose but two hours every afternoon between when my daughter gets home from school and I arrive home from work. I am glad I'm giving it a go too...it's all completely new to me, new hours, new responsibilities which of course open so many possibilities! xoxo

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  5. Congratulations!! What an exciting new chapter in your life you are about to open!!

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  6. This is a wonderful and exciting shift! I hope it's fulfilling and challenging and makes your heart sing. Big congratulations!

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    1. Thank you so much! It's already singing in anticipation!

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  7. Congrats, good for you!

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  8. Congrats on the new job. Believe me, there are times when I want to quit and stay at home but then realize that will be a struggle...all my friends work, there's only so much I can get done, and not sure how much house stuff I would really do before I got bored.

    It's a great feeling when "they" come looking for you and you have the power to say yes or no. I've never been in the situation.

    Anyway, I would love to know what your new job is but I'm sure you'll tell us in time, if at all. :) Good luck to you and keep us posted. (oh and thanks for looking at my lame blog, whatever is is. I really appreciate you).

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    1. Your blog is one of the only ones I visit daily. I love it and I appreciate you too. Isn't that what this whole thing is about? These connections and common threads we create over distances that would otherwise prevent us from knowing each other? In other words: I appreciate you too!
      Thanks...and I will share more soon I am sure!

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  9. How exciting to be pursued and now to be embarking on this... good for you and congratulations! I'm rooting for you!

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  10. This a call for some champagne and toasting - congrats to you! And congrats to your supportive family! And here's hoping you new job is everything you want out of it! ;o)

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    1. Thanks Lisa! This also calls for a spa day before my start date! ;)

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  11. This too will be a blessing for you in ways you just don't know yet. Congrats!

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    1. Thank you Debbie...I hope those are truly prophetic words!

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  12. Wow!! Hooray! Congrats times a million. I cannot wait to hear all about it.

    I have to admit- I am a bit jealous. This has been a rough time for me as a SAHM...I would just love to go back to work for a bit.

    I know you will be amazing. They are very lucky to have you!

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    1. Now I have seen both sides now and no matter how frustrating it can be at home, it is still better than dealing with the big,bad ugly world. But I know what you mean...thank you for the vote of confidence!

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  13. Congrats on the new opportunity, Eleanor! I'm so happy to read that your family is 100% behind you on this, too. :)

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    1. Thanks Amy! It didn't at first seem like little girl was going to be on board and I wasn't kidding about the tears but everything always works out for a reason, you know???

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  14. AAAHH!!! Good for you, Eleanor!! I'll say some prayers the changes and transition are all positives for you guys :)

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    1. Thank you Anne! I also need helpful hints for quick workouts with maximum effectiveness! ;)

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  15. congrats,lady love! i can't wait to hear more about your new adventure. never a dull moment, eh? ;) xo

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    1. Thanks Chica! No...there never is. Sometimes I think if I close my eyes for a millisecond too long I will miss something critical! xoxo

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  16. I'm so glad I found this bend in the road-post! *lol* How exciting. I'm also excited to hear about your new adventures. Congratulations on your custom created position. You seem like a phenomenal person so I am not surprised. ;)

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