Most of the time I write here with my tongue firmly placed in my cheek. I am a believer in gentle comic relief or silly sarcasm. I have drama pop up in my life from time to time as you all do. There are days I find myself inconsolably cranky as well as days spent with my stomach in knots with worry and stress. My favorite days are the ones when I feel pure bliss for no reason other than the fact that I live a blessed existence.
I keep the dark and negative as far away from this place as I can because I never started writing this blog to be a platform for my moods. Of course, the real life things pop through here and there. I am a real person of course! I don't think I give the impression that my life is perfect. I'm just like every single one of you ~ my moods range from happy to sad, loved to lonely, joy to disappointment...I trust you get where I am coming from.
Something I have not shared with all of you is how desperately unhappy I have been with my body for far too long now. Did you chuckle to yourself and say "then why do you take pictures of yourself on a regular basis?" Because you would have every right to. It sounds ridiculous doesn't it? I could just imagine the headline if I was a tabloid worthy soul, "Vain "style" blogger bitches about her looks after posting loads of pictures of herself everyday". I would pick it up and give it a go through in the checkout lane myself.
I'm not writing this to garner compliments, or comments. Nor am I writing this to whine about the whole situation. I'm telling you this because I am in the process of doing something about it. And I decided a while back that I wanted to share something with all of you.
My Fat Story.
I'm not referring to my current state. Many, many years ago I was overweight, took matters into my own hands, lost it all and then some. Over the past 7 years I have gained about 30 pounds and I have finally said enough is enough. It's time to change my lifestyle and mindset for good. I am not looking to lose 30 pounds. Thirty pounds ago I was often told I was too skinny. Probably because I existed on Red Bull, coffee and yogurt. I don't need to be a size 0 or 00 again...but when my size 4 dress no longer fits? I pick up the phone and say "Houston, we've got a problem."
Instead of picking up the phone, I utilized this amazing community of bloggers and reached out to the wonderful Anne who's blog I have been reading for quite some time. Anne is in incredible shape, teaches classes at her local gym and when she posted about putting her husband on a fitness plan, I knew I needed her to put me on one too. Even if it is long distance and through the interwebs. Although she just moved halfway across the country and juggles 3 young children she obliged. See, I told you blog friends are best!
On Sunday I started Anne's diet plan. She suggested I not worry about working out because the diet is so restrictive and tough to stick to, but I'm no quitter. I can do this. At Anne's suggestion, I started running 2 weeks ago and haven't quit yet. Nor have I quit or cheated on her plan which has eliminated all sugar and carbs from my diet. That means no wine, minimal portions of fruit, and tons and tons of protein. I eat every 3 hours as the goal is to retrain my metabolic system. Deny it sugar so it has no option but to burn fat. It's not rocket science, but with all the crap in processed foods and false labels guaranteeing healthy living it's easy to be fooled. I was.
I love to drink and make merry. Husband and I both love to cook and entertain. As we age, the old tricks I used to rely on after a "binge" no longer work. And it totally sucks. And now that I shared this with all of you, I really have no choice but to make it happen or you will all be asking yourselves,
"What the hell happened?"
Tomorrow I will share my story on my past and why this is so important to me now.
Thanks for listening.
skirt: jcrew #2 pencil
shirt: old, old ny&co
bracelets: jcrew and express
ring: gifted by an old friend in high school
sunglasses: banana republic