Sunday, May 6, 2012

Heavy Heart

I knew something was wrong when the phone began to ring around 7am yesterday morning. When I saw my mother's number on my caller ID I knew deep inside that my fears were about to be realized. My incredible grandfather, who rebounded from the most hopeless of situations at Christmastime, had suddenly taken a turn for the worst on Friday.

He passed peacefully at home yesterday morning in his own bed with all three of his children snuggled up close loving on him.

Since his first fall back in November and the close call we had over the holidays, I felt more mentally prepared that the end was inevitable. In reality I have now discovered that we are never really ready to let go of someone who's love has been a driving force in our lives. Who's example helped mold who you have become. The emptiness that is left behind from the loss of a close loved one is too black and deep to be immediately consoled with decades worth of memories.

I am angry at myself for waiting until our upcoming vacation in August to see him again. I am heartbroken that the chance for one last hug or "I love you" is lost. I count the months between when I saw him last October and now and there are simply way too many of them.

My children have been so fortunate to have had a relationship with their great grandfather throughout most of their childhood and for that I am grateful. But the pain that death causes is something I cannot protect them from and late last night the sadness hit my little one like a ton of bricks. Her attempts to grasp the finality of it all had her so overcome with grief that we slept tightly wrapped in each other's arms for comfort.

I have been reminded that there are some very dark moments to this beautiful life we all get to live.

And that my broken heart isn't the only one requiring mending.

Yesterday, the world lost a man who walked through this life in honesty and honor. Always putting himself second to his family. He was truly one of kind and the most amazing man I have ever met.

Thank you Pops for 38 years of unconditional love. You are already sorely missed.








16 comments:

  1. So sorry for your loss, Eleanor. I cry every time I even THINK about my grandparents passing away and don't know how I'll handle it. I will be thinking of you and your family and praying for peace for you!

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  2. my heart and my prayers are with you and your family eleanor. take care. xo janet

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  3. I am just so sorry. This just breaks my heart for you and your family. He had such kindness in his eyes and from your stories, was obviously a wonderful human being.

    I wish you as much peace as can be had while you grieve and will be praying for your family.

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  4. I am so sorry for your loss Eleanor! Hope you and your family manage to find some peace amongst the intense grief over the coming days.
    ~Anne

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  5. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers xo

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  6. I am so so sorry. My prayers are with you and your family. That picture of you and your grandpa is wonderful...thank you for sharing it with us.

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  7. I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather's passing. The picture and your words about him are so loving. Big hug to you.

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  8. I am so sorry for your loss. Your grandfather sounds like he was a remarkable person. No one can replace the love of a grandparent. Thinking of you and your family!

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  9. In loving him here, you shared love with us. Thank you for that. Big ((hugs)) to you and your family.

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  10. I enjoyed reading about your dear grandfather.
    I'm so very sorry.
    ~JA

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  11. My heart goes out to you and your family.

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  12. No words can express what you are going through especially in the loss of a close family member. My condolences to you and your family.

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  13. What this world needs are more honest and honourable people, not less. Hopefully he has inspired many to keep with his legacy. I am sorry for your loss.

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  14. What a wonderful tribute to a very handsome guy. How fantastic that you had such a good relationship with him!

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  15. I am so sorry Eleanor, and this never helps things but it's great you got to have him in your life so long and especially your children. I do wish I had known my grandparents but I'm happy you had a long relationship with one of yours. Words can't make this easier but as cliché as it sounds, think about the good memories you have.

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  16. Its a gr8 site! I got lots of information about shopping through online! I'm going to share this with my facebook friend right now.

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