Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Something Missing

This weekend was great on so many levels. To start it off spending an afternoon and night with my two little angels was a sure fire sign that all would be well with the world. I'm glad it turned out that way. To be honest, I've been a bit cranky lately. Perhaps my husband would roll his eyes at that little understatement. As someone who firmly believes that our mental state is the cause of all of our life's effects, it is frustrating to be in a bad mood. Being in a bad mood makes me even crankier if that makes any sense. (?)

In my attempt to achieve everything I put my mind to I sometimes always overburden myself. I am an overachieving sore loser. Meaning, if I don't do it all I get mad at myself. I suppose you could sum me up as a Typical Type A personality. I oft always take on more than I can chew. I also hold myself to ridiculously high standards. Perhaps some would say I am my own worst enemy.

You already know that I spend anywhere between 3-5 hours commuting to and from work each day. Add that to a full work day and there's not a ton of time left for much else other than sleeping and eating. Of course I also try to squeeze in a daily run, blog reading, blog writing, tidying up the house, preparing dinner for the family...you get the idea. It's no wonder my magazine bin is overflowing with March, April and now May's issues. I am back to my million mile an hour life. I have never been good at relaxing, got a little bit better at it for a while, and now I am back full speed ahead. 

Add to my already full plate this dieting nonsense I have self imposed which calls for measuring, label reading and a ton of prep work. I keep a small, personal cooler in the car with me every day full of water and perfectly portioned sugar free, carb free snacks and a tuna wrap in 1/2 an oat bran, flaxseed lavash wrap. While I enjoy eating this way,  I don't partake in dinner with the family most nights because I am eating "different". Try feeding a scruffy faced teen and moody, prepubescent "tween" lavash wraps and you'll get a chicken nugget thrown right at your head.  I spend so much time preparing food for them and food for me but we are not enjoying meal time as a family together like we always have. Meal time has been a drag quite frankly.

Then something magical happened this weekend. Saturday we found ourselves child free. One was with his father and the other at a friends house until 9pm. I convinced hubby to take me to Goodwill  and on the way home we debated going out for dinner, but that idea didn't appeal much to us. I remembered I had 3 cartons of grape tomatoes at home and had my husband swing into the grocery store. We picked up fresh basil, a sourdough boule and a single portion of Boston Cream Pie to share for dessert. We got home, he whipped up some gin and tonics, we turned on some music, dipped that bread in some flavored olive oil and cooked.

angel hair with tomatoes and basil

I danced around the kitchen singing along to my favorite songs, he watched and laughed. We snuggled up on the couch each armed with a fork and dug into that dessert until we were overpowered by it's sweetness. Our shared love for cooking brought back a little spark that has been snuffed out for a bit.
When we picked up the moody tween, we laughed and joked and teased her until she didn't know what to do with us and ran off to hide in her room.
We had fun.
So much fun in fact that we did it again Sunday night.

Roast chicken, steamed fingerlings with dill and chive and fresh steamed beans made for a perfect Sunday night meal. The four of us sat around the table and ate together. We even went for an after dinner walk with the dogs laughing and chatting the whole way. I felt blissfully happy.

Our shared love for cooking and meal time has always grounded us and kept us close. So I might have to run a little harder and a little longer this week. But it was totally worth it.


  1. What a wonderful end to your story. To think you were actually cranky.

  2. I've been feeling like this for a few months now. I've been looking for some big "aha!" moment to rescue me, but now I think a trip to the grocery store and an evening without technology could be the simple answer. Happy to hear you're smiling :)

  3. This dish looks good Eleanor! I was amazed to read about your commuting hours: 3 to 5 hours is so much. It only takes me 20 minutes to go to work. How do you manage to be a mum, do the house and keep a blog in the air? No wonder you are cranky now and then. I would be too :-)

    Enjoy your new week!

    Madelief x

  4. Food, cooking and sharing a good meal is one of life's great, great pleasures. It is for me anyway. That sounds (and looks like) my perfect night and an exact replica of what happens round here when we have a free night.

    As you know G&T is my favourite tipple! We had a few Bombays last week while we were away. Oh and we are definitely going to Byron when you make it out here. xxxooo

  5. Oh my gosh Eleanor, I am such a slothful slacker compared to you. I am at best a Bminus compared to you. Love that you found your mojo in the kitchen and that last photo contains all the food I love best in the world.

  6. Hello...I am a first time visitor to your blog. What a delightful entry! Good food and laughter are two great mood-lifters for sure. Just last night my hubby and I enjoyed a homemade Thai chicken pizza, a bottle of Riesling (amazing pairing with Thai food) and the snuggled up on the sofa to watch the finale of Amazing Race...come to think of it, I could write a blog post about it! Thanks for the inspiration! Looking forward to getting to know you through your blog. Blessings--Lina


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